Baked cheese cake.

I am never a good cook, or a good baker, or anything revolves around food. But I love food. I love to eat. So I use a lot of money on good food. But being jobless now, doing nothing at home, I actually started thinking of learning to cook my fave food. I mean there's no harm in trying right? Since I have nothing else to do at home other than reading novels and watching movies. Hahaha

The first thing that popped into my mind was cheese cake. I love everything with cheese and cheese cake is a good start. So I read a few recipes available on the Internet and after a few edition, I came up with this. And I have to tell you, I was very surprised that I nailed it the first time! So if you are new to baking like I am, I strongly suggest you to use my recipe. This recipe can give you about 6 slices. Dan oleh sebab aku tinggal di kawasan rural, bahan-bahan sangatlah limited so semua bahan yang aku akan list down di bawah ni adalah bahan yang senang mau dapat di kedai runcit la. :)

Base:

Digestive biscuits (yang ni terpulanglah berapa banyak ko mau letak or biskut apa kau mau letak, aku pakai tu biskut Marie ja, murah dan sedap)
Butter (dicairkan, cukup untuk kasi basah sikit kau punya digestive biscuits)

Cake:

1 ketul cream cheese 250g (aku pakai Philadelphia)
Setengah tin susu pekat manis (susu junjung urang kita panggil hehe)
1 biji telur
1 sudu tepung gandum

*pastikan semua bahan berada dalam suhu bilik ah

Cara-cara:

1. First, kita buat base. Kasi hancur tu digestive biscuits. Aku pakai ja blender, senang. Haha terpulang sama kau la, kau mau macamana punya hancur sebab kau yg makan kan. Haha kasi masuk tu butter sama biskut Marie satu kali dalam blender supaya sama rata.
2. Pastu, kau kasi mampat tu digestive biscuits dalam loyang. Kasi tekan tekan pakai sudu supaya sama rata tu base (loyang kalau buli pakai yg buli cabut tapak tu tapi kalau tiada, ko letak ja kertas minyak di tapak sama tepi loyang)
3. Then, pukul cream cheese sampai kembang, pastu susu pekat manis, sudah sebati baru letak telur and akhir sekali kasi masuk tepung. Semua ni tuang dalam loyang yg ada digestive biscuits tadi.
*jangan risau kalau tu adunan nampak cair sebab mimang begitu la tu. Dia bukan macam adunan kek biasa.
4. Aku bakar selama sejam dalam suhu 170 degree, bakar atas bawah, pasang angin oven ya. Sangat penting. Jangan risau kalau ko cucuk masih basah di dalam sebab ni kan cheese cake, dia memang lembap di dalam.
5. Bila sudah siap, biarkan seja dalam oven sampai ko rasa sudah sejuk tu kek dalam oven. Then jangan gatal tangan mau p kasi keluar tu kek macam aku. Sabar. Haha kasi masuk dulu kek tu dalam fridge. Tunggu dalam 4-6hours pun buli sdh. Pastu kasi keluar kek, putung dan makan! (jangan pula kau simpan kek dalam freezer ah! Haha)

Easy right? First tu aku down sudah sebab tingu macam nda jadi. Masa baru keluar tu kek, aku rasa lagi, mimang nda sedap. rasa macam susu pekat manis seja. Tapi rupanya menjadi juga. Haha bulila kan kampung kampung, bukan yg pro. Tapi okay la at least kalau mengidam, nda payah lagi aku mau turun bandar yang jauhnya sejam setengah gara gara satu slice cheese cake. Hehe

Nda dapat upload gambar cheese cake tu sini so aku bagi link gambar tu di ig ku la ah. Nah

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCpd4wPiK-H/?taken-by=lydrielyn_koh

Anyway, selamat mencuba! :)

The Perfect One

My love life has not been kind to me for all my 24 years of living and though I am never proud of that, I always tell myself that at least I was still able to pick myself up even after experiencing all those heartbreaks. My younger sis always tells me how bad she feels about my life, but hey, I am standing stronger than ever aren't I?

I have to admit that I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in The One. I believe in The Perfect Someone for every each of us. I believe in destiny. I believe in The Yin Yang theory. I believe that there is someone out there that will complete each of us. Well, there was a moment in my life when I thought I have found The One and that when I have lost him, I thought to myself 'that's it. You'll never found The One again'. He was so perfect in my eyes that I thought I have lost my moment of living with My One. Funny thing was, 3 years after that I found somebody who made me fell terribly deep in love again. I was like how was this even possible? Yeah you may judge me. I guess when I love, I just love too hard.

So I started loving this one guy again. It felt like we completed each other. But again, the history repeated. He was a Muslim, just like the guy I dated before. But this time, I thought I was ready. I wanted this relationship to work out. I wanted him. I wanted us. This time, I thought I will be able to convince my dad that I want to marry this guy. I didn't want to mess this one up again because I loved him and I couldn't afford to lose him again. Why? Because he was the type of guy who would drive 4 hours just to give you medicines even though that time you guys were arguing and you were at fault. He proved that even when he was angry at me he would never stop caring. He was the type of guy that would drive for hours just to see you even though he was injured. He was the type of guy who would find out what you should or should not eat when you had your period. He was the type of guy who knew just what to do when your period is coming. He was the type of guy who gets protective when some guys talked to his girl. He was the type of guy who would choose you over his friends. The Perfect One. My Perfect One.

Things went perfect until I came back home. I knew my family will not approve my relationship but I still had to talk to them about it. I told them all about it and they wouldn't listen. I thought to myself, I am not losing him and that my family has to accept it. Then something happened to the family. To be exact, my dad. If you know me well, you will know how much I care for my dad. He's like my hero and my everything. It made me think twice. I couldn't leave my dad with such thing happening to him. I just couldn't. He's raised me well and I will never stop blaming myself if I choose this guy over my dad. So again, I have lost my perfect one. The sad part was that there was nobody I could talk to because everybody in the family wanted my relationship to be over. I couldn't cry in front of them. I couldn't express how I felt to them. I was all by myself. It makes me feel down everyday. It breaks me apart every night. But life goes on, ey?

So here I am again, going through the process of moving on. The question left now is that will I find The Perfect One again? I mean look at me, I found the one for me twice so maybe there could be the third one out there for me, right? I just have to keep believing. I am only 24, anyway. :)

Update?

Not much of updates from me. Same old, same me. Two months doing nothing at home has led to a huge total of weight gain but there's no regret. Haha surprisingly, I have also started learning a few cooking recipes and taking beauty supplement. Can you believe it? I can't believe it myself. Hahaha I mean, if you know me well, you won't see me as someone who cooks or believes in beauty supplement. I don't know what changed me but yeah.

I also promised myself to go have a good time somewhere at least once a month and so I did. I mean, now that I have a very long holiday, I should start having my own good time and focus on myself rather than keep thinking about others. Last January, I spent about 2 days at Tanjung Aru beach, Kota Kinabalu. This February, I'll be spending 4 days in KL. Next month, another 3 days at Mantanani Island, Kota Belud. April? Wanted to go to Bali with my dad but my cousin called and told me that she's coming back to Sabah with my fave girl in the world, Adel. They'll be home on my birthday! Lovely, ey? I can't wait! Hahaha

We plan, God laughs.

Doesn't He? :)

So the plan to hike around the country has to be canceled because my cousin is not available. I mean I am a girl, and to hitchhike all the way all by myself is very dangerous, especially in a time like this (where murder and kidnap are very common). :(

And the argument between my and my sis has cooled down. She didn't actually apologized, she just brushed it off by inviting me over for a drink. Well, that's our way to apologize anyway.

My third sis has just recently deliver a baby boy. He's cute and it makes me really wanna have babies of my own! Hahahaha I have 5 nieces and 6 nephews now but this is the first time that I actually seen a baby fresh from oven. It was so exciting! Hahaha oh somebody, marry me please! Haha

Apologize.

For the first time after a month, my dad actually said something about my argument with my sister. Today morning as he dropped me off to school, he asked me to apologize. I was quite hurt. I mean he knows what I have been through with her, those arguments before this that I have let her pass, semua yang aku sudah maafkan ad pretended like it didn't happen and those yang aku maafkan though I myself was already so broken inside. So the only thing I was able to say was no. I told him I am hurt enough, I am broken enough, and I am not going to apologize anymore for things that I have done no wrong. She has never take me as one of her sisters. I was left alone for so many times. I have been patient for so many years. I won't take this no more. No more negativity in my life. I'd rather spend my days alone loving myself than spend my days with everybody else, unloved.

She might have forgotten the day she left me the night before Christmas. She might have forgotten that I was invited to our friend's party last time. She might have forgotten that I worked my ass off to get all the things I have. She might have forgotten that I was left hanging and abandoned by my fiance. And I have no intention to remind her all that. Yet, she condemned me as if I was the worst person on earth. I have never asks her money nor have I done any damage in her life. So I owe her nothing. I know she's been through a difficult life ever since her husband passed away. And I was there for her, didn't I? Trying my best to help her in everything she needs. But she's been treating me this way years before and now that it's getting worse, I just can't take it anymore.

But I love my dad. I love him. Truly. He is always there to listen to my cry. I heard his voice cracking when he replied to my no, 'aku tau. Tapi ni bukan apa yang I taught all my daughters. Minta maaf sja la sama dia..'. Dad, I know you pity her sebab she is a single mother now. But being in a tough situation doesn't give anyone the right to bitch around. Sigh.. this is just difficult. Don't worry dad, a few more days more and I'll go. Sebab aku, she won't come to any family party. Sebab aku, mom is not sleeping in the house at night anymore. Sebab aku, it's difficult for my parents to see their granddaughter. So no worries. I'll leave. Just give me a few days more to complete my fucking semester. You see, 'it is far better to endure patiently a smart which nobody feels but yourself, than to commit a hasty action whose evil consequences will extend to all connected with you' (Charlotte Bronte, 1847). It is really true. I mean, kalau kepergian aku boleh bagi diorang semua kelegaan, then aku rela sakit sendiri. I love my dad too much to make him feel bad about all this. She needs my family more. She is alone. Me? I am already used to being independent. So no worries about me.

Sudah la, malas sudah aku fikir. Last last aku juga mengalah kan. Hahaha trep trep ja kunun kuat, nda mau mengalah first first tapi in the end mengalah juga. Lari juga. So me. Haha