A Dream to Remember.

Haven't had any dreams lately, especially regarding my ex-fiance. Well, I am not someone who dream a lot. Usually my sleep is only accompanied by blank, black vision. So, when I dream, about something or anything, I can usually remember well and think a lot about it. Ahahaha (like those dreams I shared in my previous entries)

So only a few mins ago I was taking my nap when I dreamt about getting back together with my ex-fiance. Odd enough, we were on the phone talking like usual but still it was quite awkward because we sounded like we're trying to do it. It didn't sound natural, you see. But I was happy. I mean, at least we tried. Then, I asked him what was he doing? He said he was watching a movie but when I asked with who, he was silent for a little while and started mumbling. You see, while we were together back then, he cheated me twice. The first one was the first few months when we were together. I was taking care of him because he was badly injured after his game to the extent that he almost couldn't walk. I bathed him, helped him to walk, prepared him meal so that he didn't have to go out, cleaned up his room- all of that while I was having my exam. Then one day somebody called him up and I saw the panic in his eyes. He hid under the blanket (because he couldn't walk out to answer the fucking phone) and shush-ed me. He talked slowly and I knew right away it was a woman, calling him. After he hung up, I asked him who was on the phone. He was mumbling and I was like, it's okay. Give him some time. Then, few hours after that, I started questioning again. But this time I was not giving in. He, at last, admitted that he was seeing that girl. Okay, I am getting emotional here. Let's not go that far. All you have to know is that I was stupid and blind back then. So lets continue with the dream. Ahahahaha

So I saw the signs. The 'cheating signs'. I was so pissed and cried. He mocked me crying and said mean things to me. Again. I mean, he did that in real life and now he is doing that in my dream too? Helllll, nooooooooo!! Ahahahahaha surprisingly, I stopped crying. Usually in reality, I will hung up on him without thinking. But just now, in my dream? Before I hung up, I actually thought to myself, 'Lala, if you hung up, no more calling. No more embarassing yourself. You understand?' And only after that, I hung up and I woke up. An inspiring dream, don't you think? I'm proud of myself. Ahahahahaha

Maybe this is a sign to let go of everything. It's time to move on. It's been only a month but I was doing surprisingly well. I guess it's mainly because we both know that we are not ready for marriage. Or maybe I am mature enough to handle breakup? Ahahaha Mature sangattttt :D