Christmas

You see, I'm a Christian and I do celebrate Christmas, the day Jesus was born. One thing about Christmas day is that families would gather and have a very wonderful, joyful time together. Where you can feel love everywhere. Since I was a little kid, I used to celebrate Christmas like no other day. I'd spent the whole day with my family and friends, eating cookies, getting presents, it's just awesome. But recently, I don't feel that anymore. For the past few years, I've been spending Christmas like it's just a normal day with only myself or my parents. That's all.

And this year, it got worse. Everybody knows that family is the best part of Christmas, or is it I'm the only one who thinks that way? My family always come first. In everything I do, family is the most important. When I date a guy, I'll make sure my family accepts him. If no, then I'll just let him go even if I love him so much. I don't mind. When I'm sick, my family is the last one to know, because I don't want my family to be worried of me. I want them to think that I'm always fine. When I know I did something wrong, I'll tell my family and apologize. I love my family more than I love myself. I tried to do my best in making my family to like me. But it just won't work. And I'm tired of all these. It really is tiring. I guess they don't need me anyway. Sigh.

Anyway, I'm very grateful that God still loves me. So I decided to take a year to live by myself as what my sister told me to. She once said that I'm the one who doesn't want to be with them, so if that is what she thinks, then that's what I'd do. I guess that will make them happy. And making them happy is my priority. :)

Next year is gonna be a whole new year for me. I gotta stand by myself. It's time for me to grow up. Are you with meeeeeee???? Ahahahaha

O Lord, help me to get through this, Amen.