Frustrated!

Another one week three days more before my SAS Eco-Challenge 2015 at Tioman Island and so many obstacles are cropping up! I really wanna join this race for heaven's sake!

First, stamina. To run 30 km on road is acceptable for my stamina. I mean I can train to achieve that. However, in this race, the contestants need not only run, we need to climb and hike in the forest. The 30 km is the total distance of running + climbing + hiking. If you read the reviews of other people who have joined this race in the previous years, you will know how difficult it is. Some contestants who have joined climbathon before (if you're into sports you will know how difficult a climbathon is) could not complete the race within the time given. Imagine me? A beginner. Someone who is not that athletic. An anemic. Oh, I'm gonna die! Ahahahaha I took 25mins to run a total of 3 km on treadmill. Imagine running on road and in the forest? Damn!

But for me it's okay. The experience is what I aim for. I don't mind losing because to lose is to experience as well. :)

Then came the second obstacle. Financial. At first (based on my calculation), my budget was okay. I was able to join this race without much financial problem. So I started registering for other events as well. Also buying some health products since I need those with my active lifestyle. Slowly I began to realize that this month I have to move out from my rental house because I need to find somewhere nearer to my college. Which means I need money to move all my stuff from one house to another. Which means I need money to rent out another house. Which means I will be needing money more than usual this particular month. Shit! Ahahahaahha miscalculated! My bad! Totally! Completely!

But then I checked out my saving that I have just started last month (a saving especially for Mt. Everest) and I was relieved to see that there is at least something to add to my budget for this race. Well, I can start saving for Mt. Everest after the race, anyway.

After that, came the biggest obstacle of all time! Exam! See, before we sit for exam, we need to attend an exam briefing. This, we have to attend every semester, 2 weeks before exam week starts. They will repeat the same thing over and over again. I bet they are bored too. What can we say, it's protocol. We have to do it even if it means wasting time and energy. Guess what? The exam briefing is held on the day before race itself which is on the 8th. Whyyyyyyyyy?? I mean, to go to Tioman island, I had to take a bus to KL (Terminal Bersepadu Selatan) then hop into another bus to Mersing and take a ferry to Tioman island. The total journey will be 3 hours (Ipoh-KL) + 5 hours (KL-Mersing) + 1.5 hours (Mersing-Tioman) = 10 hours. And I haven't count the waiting time for every public transport. Which means, I have to leave at least on the 7th so that I will be reaching Tioman on the 8th to be able to register and attend the race briefing. Now, how am I going to do that?

First, I thought of asking my lecturer's help by saying this is emergency. Maybe I can attend the exam briefing on the day before the race or after. If not, I guess MC it is. :( I seriously don't like to do this. Sigh.. Tell me what to do......

Outrage!

At school, pupils are scared of me. Well, maybe not only at school. Even other people are scared of me. Ahahahahaha I may look very furious but actually I am very friendly once you know me well. As they say, don't judge a book by its cover! :)

However, today I exploded in the classroom. I don't know what happened but I just did. It all started when the kids starting to report every time their peers do something. You know, kids. They report every little little thing.

'Miss Koh, Siti said I am stupid.'

'Miss Koh, Adam mocked me.'

'Miss Koh, Qholis took 10 cent from me.'

'Miss Koh, Imran stick out his tongue.'

'Miss Koh, Fais touched my book.'

Urghhhhh.. it's tiring to hear all that every day, every second of my lesson! Why? Because it always interrupts the flow of my lesson! Ahahahaha then they started making planes out of papers. I do not allow it in the classroom because it disturbs the other pupils. Usually I just had to warn them once or twice but today after so many times warning over and over again, I just exploded. I took the paper plane, I tore the paper into pieces and threw it on the kids' tables. I told them to gather all the pieces and threw it in the bin. They were shaking. Then I realized how terrible I was. I became a monster in front of the kids. I lost my temper. Just because of that little paper planes. I shouldn't have. :(

Honestly, I don't know how long can I stay in the teaching profession. Especially when it comes to teaching kids. I'm not a patient person. I got upset easily (and forget about being angry very easily as well). The thing is, I really love them and I want them to learn well. I mean, why would I be upset if I don't care whether they are learning or not? I can just let them do what they want, right? But because I love them, I care for them. Sigh.. I need to either change my clients (to adult learners) or change my profession right away. Ohh sweet Lord, help me to be more patient! 

April 13, 2015!

I don't always celebrate my birthday or receive many gifts on my birthday. Birthday was never really a celebration to me as bad things usually happened either on my birthday month or the birthday itself. Even in the past few years, I'll be arguing with my boyfriend on or a few days before my birthday. Made my birthday something bitter to be remembered. This year? It's awesome! Ahahahahahaha

I didn't really celebrate it because I was busy with my cycling events and schools. Anyway, I don't usually have material wish on my birthday. Not that I'm pretending to sound good, but I will usually just wish for happiness and a simple life. This year? I wished for a pair of Skechers. To be exact, Go Run 4. Ahahahaha but I didn't really expect to get it. I mean who is willing to buy me that?? Ahahahaha I posted it on my instagram account and aimed to buy it myself on my birthday. Surprisingly, the day before my birthday, I got that running shoes and I almost fainted! Ahahahahaha

Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaa!! Wohooooooooo!! I wannaaaaa dancceeeeeeeeee!! And jumpppppp!! Ahahahahahahaha even as I am writing this post, my heart is jumping up and down! Ahahahahahaha

I also got a new jersey from one of my favorite friends!

Do ignore my bare face and also tired face. Ahahahaha I just got back from the gym at this sec. And also a correction here. I am NOT a Liverpool fan. I'm a Chelsea family member. Ahahahaha but he gave me this because he wants me to support his team. Well, if wearing this jersey makes you feel supported, I'll wear it. But it's not because of Liverpool. It's because of you. Ahahahaha

Thennnnnn, flowers from my kidssssss!!

Yes, they are not real flowers but it's the thoughts that count, right? :)

Now, the next one is a total surprise as well. I mean who would have guessed to get your state's flag as your birthday gift, right? AHahahaha

Sabah flag from 27 Legacy Tie Dye ( www.27legacy.com/ ). If you're interested in looking for your states' flag, check out their website!

A few more small gifts but haven't got the chance to take pictures of them. Anyway, thanks for the birthday gifts and wishes, people! You know who you are! Million thanks to all of you! May the sweet Lord bless us all. :)

Stress-free?

People always think that I am a happy-go-lucky person, relax, have less stress, positive vibes, etc.. but then once they stumbled upon my blog and especially WeChat account, they realized how different I actually am, how emotional I can actually be. See, every human being has their own sides - positive and negative. It all just depends on where and when they want to show it out. Me? I don't know how to express it verbally. Or maybe my ego stops me from doing so. Because I don't want to let others see my tears. It makes me feel weak and useless. Whenever I felt down, I'll prefer to sit in the dark all by myself and cry. Or go out and drive like mad. Or write it all down in my blog or WeChat statuses. Now why would I do that? Because no one really read my blog, other than those who are really interested of my life, and I don't have much friends in WeChat.

Let me make it clear; I DO HAVE STRESS. I stress about even the littlest thing you can ever think about.

Like an ordinary college student, I worry about assignments.
Like an ordinary daughter, I worry about my parents.
Like an ordinary sister, I argue with my siblings.
Like an ordinary woman, I worry about my love relationships, friendships, finance.
I worry about everything.

Like when I had to use my suppose-to-be business modal just because my tyre went flat. I was so down that I drove like crazy on the road.

Like when I had no other choice but to avoid my friends because they are uncomfortable with me being around. I was so down that I decided to leave.

Like when my best bro passed away due to car accident. I was so down that I cried in the shower alone.

Like when I broke up. I was so down that I started to be a workaholic, leaving no time for myself.

See now? Just because I laugh, I smile, I talk about my problem less, it never means that I have no worries at all. I just do not want to bother others with my problems because other people have their own problems too. Anyway, think less, worry less. So don't worry, be happy? :)

Here We Go Again!

I don't what has gotten into my mind but I'm challenging my own limit AGAIN! This kind of thing usually happens when I got disappointed of life. For example, breakups, family problem, losing a friend, failed in something. So why am I challenging myself now? I mean, when I think about it, I am not currently having any problems or issues. Then, why? Hmm..

Anyway, as for now I have completed 'Save Our Rainforest Race 2015' (SORR 2015) and 'Kayuhan Muhibbah Bersama Rakyat 2015'. Also signed up for 'SAS International Eco-Challenge 2015' and 'Kampar Majesty Ride 2015'. Thinking of signing up for 'We Run Lumut 2015' as well. Need to train a lot! Ahahahahaha

SORR 2015 was a great race. It was not exactly a race actually because you were not allowed to run. You were supposed to walk and enjoy the nature. I loved it because I love nature! We had to walk + hike for a total of 10km. Along the way, we had to complete missions which I find very interesting. The missions we had to complete were planting trees (we had to get the tree and find the place to plant it based on our bib tag number), finding leaves according to the pictures shown, passing food to the aborigines based on the house numbers, crossing the river and remembering the names of the plants throughout the journey. It was great! After we had completed our missions, we ran (which we were not supposed to ahahahaha) and got to the finish line 133th out of 1500 participants. Boleh la.. bangga sikit. Ahahahahaha

For 'Kayuhan Bersama Rakyat 2015', it was a fun ride so we can cycle at our own pace. Sultan Nazrin Shah, the Sultan of Perak, was there to join us as well. The only thing that disappointed me was that the event started 2 hours late than promised. By the time we started, it was already raining so heavily and so we had to cycle under the heavy rain for 10km! I did it in 30 mins, quite slow but since I have just started my training after about 8 months without any physical activities, this is quite an achievement. My smoking habit has also reduced drastically that in a week I only smoked for about 3-5 times on average. I guess being single give you less stress that you don't need cigar anymore to make you relax. Ahahahaha but as people say, don't speak too soon. :D

So currently I am busy training for coming events, pushing my limits. I have less than a month for that 30km SAS eco-challenge. I don't aim for winning (of course) but I need to at least get to the finish line. That's what matters most to me. I want to finish it. I want to get the medal.

If any of you are interested in joining me in any of the events I mentioned above or you have other events that I might have overlooked, do comment here because I would love to have a company to join these kind of events and am currently looking for events that suit my level. Be healthy, be fit!