Maths?

I was so into Mathematics when I was in secondary school. I love counting. It's like I was born to calculate. Hahaha but growing up, I realized I hated counting. Why? Because the more I count, the more I noticed that I have only a few friends and families that I can count on. I don't blame them. I never do. Because the problem is with me. I was the one who hoped too much when I know I shouldn't. Living as almost a fully independent lady for 23 years, I knew very well that the only person that I can depend on is me, myself and I. However as much as I wanted to be that independent, I keep hoping that someone will come and share those pains.

The worst part of being the 'strongest' is that nobody really asks whether you are okay or not. Nobody realizes your tears behind your smiles. Nobody checks on you when you are sitting quietly in your room. Nobody notices when was your last meal. Nobody. Because everybody know you will do great. Little did they realize, you are only human. Human who has feelings of your own, who can be terribly hurt as well. Now, tell yourself this, cukup-cukuplah kesiankan diri ko tu. Stand up straight and walk on. Pick yourself up. In the end of the day, you'll see you can do much better alone anyway. Hahaha

Aku pun ndatau apa benda aku merepek tengah malam ni. Esok kena bangun awal pagi and it's already 12.30 in the morning. Been having sleepless nights lately. Hate it to the max. Knowing me, you'll know that I sleep 12 hours a day. And I get depressed when I don't have enough. Hahaha I wish all of you a good night. Hope I can have better sleep tonight.

"Funny when you're dead and how people start listening."