April..

I don't know why but the month of April doesn't really like me since I was a kid. Lots of terrible thing usually happen when April comes. Accident, breaking up with boyfriend, problems with friends, hard decisions, SIGH. Ironically, my birthday fell on April. I still remember when I was in Form 4, had an accident. Until now, I can't really kneel because of the injury. And it happened just a day before my birthday. Sucks right? Sometimes, I think that I was sent from hell. Am I the 'girl from hell'? 0.o


This year, again terrible things happen on April. I'm not gonna mention it all but I end up crying like hell on my birthday. I repeat, ON MY BIRTHDAY. Can you imagine? I should be happy since I'm still alive after all these years, but I cried because I am still alive. Shit.


Thank God, He sent me a wonderful priest. I went to church and suddenly he talked about life. How people can never appreciate what He has given. We keep on asking: why this thing happen? Has He forgotten me? No, He didn't forget us. The only thing He forgets is our SIN. Then, I realised how stupid I am. Feels like the stupidest woman living on Earth. I've been living for 19 years but frankly speaking, I'm only alive the day I received that message from God. Hallelujah!


But then, for my birthday, I'm so very lucky to have a roommate like Dewagi, and also her friends as mine, Rubethera and Atikalla. Well, they did a surprise birthday party for me. Only between us, in our small room but still I appreciate it much. Also my bestfriend, Bernadette who gave 'pulut durian' for me. It tastes really good. She said her boyfriend made it. She's lucky. :D
And then my next thanks will be to my classmates who did a very well surprise birthday party for not only me, but also Aziz (shares the same birthday with me) and Deanne (a day earlier before my birthday). It was amazing! Bernadette and Nana gave me a watch from Vincci and Eugene gave a card! Mr Lim gave me a very meaningful birthday card. He decorated it himself. Never know he could be that creative. ^^ Raphael, posted a birthday card + Cadbury + capo for my birthday and Samson gave a birthday card too. Full with expressions!


Great don't u think? :D


Btw,  I deactivated my Facebook account. Why? Don't ask. No comment. ^^

Lady Macbeth Character Analysis

Lady Macbeth is a very strong and important character in the play Macbeth since she started the tragedy in the play. She brings a great influence to Macbeth of killing King Duncan right after Macbeth told her the prophecies that was told to him by the 'weird sisters' (witches).

Since the beginning of the play, Lady Macbeth can be seen as someone who is very well respected. Even King Duncan himself calls her "honored hostess" and "fair and noble hostess". Not only she is respected by King Duncan because of she is the hostess but as King Duncan looks up to Macbeth for his great loyalty especially when he wins the great battle between Scotland and Norway, King Duncan also respects her as the wife of his noble general, Macbeth.

She is a very ambitious and persuasive character too. She persuades Macbeth to kill King Duncan and be the next king because she knows if Macbeth becomes the King of Scotland, then both of them will have the benefits. Even though she looks as if she is a cold-blooded woman as she is very ambitious, many of us overlooked the femininity inside her. She is actually fragile that she has to ask the evil spirits to "unsex" her so that she will be able to do the deed. Her fragility can also be seen through her soliloquy while waiting for Macbeth to kill the king, "had he [King Duncan] not resembled my father as he slept, I had done't".

Lady Macbeth can be very manipulative as well. The moment Macbeth comes back to his sense and refuses to "proceed no further in this business [kill King Duncan]", she quickly questions him of his manhood and his love to her. Her strong statement asking Macbeth to "screw your [Macbeth] courage to the sticking-place" gives Macbeth the strength again to kill King Duncan. She has successfully influenced him with just few words.

Other than that, Lady Macbeth can also be said as meticulous. She makes sure everything is according to the plan. After the assassination, Macbeth is so scared that he forgot to do exactly as planned but Lady Macbeth goes back to the crime scene and "gild the faces of the grooms withal for it must seem their guilt".

Quick-witted is also one of Lady Macbeth character. She thinks very quickly when Macbeth's guilt making him sees the ghost of Banquo in his party. Macbeth spins out of control and starts making his guests confused and horrified. Lady Macbeth quickly tells their guests that Macbeth "is often thus, and hath been from his youth".

Female is usually associated with a weak emotion control. So does Lady Macbeth. She couldn't bear with her guilt at last that she started sleep walking and in the end committed suicide.

Boredom.

I believe that there are times when each of us feels like suicidal. Especially when having hard times, and you look to your left but nobody's there, look to your right still nobody's around, turn to your back and you are alone. Exactly. No one to turn to. I feel that too. Most of the time. So don't feel down because everybody feel and felt the same.

One habit that I really have to change is that when I am sad or down or having any negative feeling, I just can't help from hurting myself. I'll hit my head to the wall, or scratch myself, and even carve myself. This is one of the example.

I carved my name just to make myself clear that I'm still alive and I will be until the day comes for Him to take me. Oh, life has to stop giving me shit! Fuck my life, fuck my problems, fuck everything!!!!

17th of March 2011

New records in my life! Haha
I met my first own accident in my life when I try to ride my friend's motorcycle. FYI, I'm now on my way to have motorcycle and car license. Amazing right? I haven't tell my parents, and the rest of the family - and I don't intend to. So all expenses for this is on my own. I repeat, I'm on my own. Sigh. I'm a grown-up girl so I guess I can handle it. I repeat, I GUESS. :D

I passed the first test, law test. I answered 50 questions in 10 minutes and 54 seconds (stated on the cert) - well I guess I took only about 9 to 10 minutes but I re-check for quite a number of times- and I answered 46 out of 50 questions! Passed! Thank God.. ^^,

I really really hope I can handle the next class well. Tomorrow I'll be having class on riding motorcycle and on Sunday, I'm going to have class to drive car. Wish I can handle both motorcycle and car without a single problem. *Crossing my finger tightly*
Wish me luck!

My New Ritmuller Guitar!

Don’t be jealous (I know you are!), but I now own a Ritmuller guitar! Tell you what, it’s a birthday gift from a friend of mine and I love it. Maybe it’s not as amazingly good as other brand but who cares? Still, I appreciate it damn much!

Let me present to you, my baby Ritmuller!

Now my fingers are becoming numb since I keep on playing my guitar. But it’s okay. I’ve been wishing to have my OWN guitar, and now have one. Dream came true, huh? (",)