Why?

Sometimes I wonder,

Why is it hard to speak out the truth?

Why is it difficult to tell lies?

Why is it hard to understand others?

Why is it difficult to read what's in people's minds?

Shouldn't it be easy?

To say 'yes' when you want to say 'yes'?

To say 'no' when you want to say 'no'?

To say out what you want when you want to say it?

To lie to others just to please them?

Too bad,

it's not as simple as ABC,

not as simple as 123,

not as simple as you and me.

Why can't we make it simple?

Why can't we make it easy?

Why can't we live like how we want it to be?

Walking alone by Elma Mitchell

Our houses stand apart, and so

The time had come I had to go

Out from the fire, into the snow

-He would have come, but I said No.

I walk beyond the lights I know,

The busy poet's harmless glow,

The lovers curtained from the snow

-He would have come, but I said No.

No voices on the winds that blow,

No light house in the swiveling snow,

No flare, no flame, the way I go

-But heel and toe, and heel and toe.

A poem about the determined rejection of a man's love. Elma repeats the line 'He would have come, but I said No' to show how determined the woman is in rejecting him. We can say that the woman in the poem was once fallen deeply in love with the man, however she chooses to go 'out from the fire, into the snow' without a concrete reason. Based on the title itself, it is possible that the woman thinks it is better to walk alone even though there is 'no flare, no flame, the way [she] go'.

The imagery used in this poem is really strong. By giving us the winter season as Elma keeps repeating the word 'snow', we can sense that the feeling inside the woman is only coldness. She knows that the man will be there for her as she keeps saying 'He would have come' but yet she insisted in saying 'I said No.' It is maybe because of the coldness inside her is all over her that she finds herself impossible to be with him anymore. Ironically, from the first verse, she says 'the time had come, I had to go' which tells us that she doesn't exactly want to go. It's just that she HAS to go. Wow!

This poem amazed me. Seriously.

Sometimes, you wish you could stay but you just can't because you couldn't afford risking yourself to be hurt if you stayed.

Do I look emo enough? Ahahaha

Assignment.

People keep on asking me:

Lala, have you finished your assignment? You look so free.

Don't you have any assignment to do? You look so relaxed.

Dear friends,

a smile painted on my face doesn't mean I am happy,

a small talk with my colleague doesn't mean I am free,

a plate full of rice doesn't mean I have money,

a full blast energy in the afternoon doesn't mean I'm not weary,

because the way we handle things are vary,

to understand me, you need to look into me very clearly.

 (Lydrielyn, 2011)

I just don't know why people need to ask me whether I have assignments or not. I am a student, it's impossible to not have an assignment. In fact, I'm the one who should be asking you, why are you so tensed up with your assignments? Aren't they the same with the rest of tasks that your lecturer need you to do? So why when it comes to assignments, you were so stressed? Of course I am also stressed out but I just didn't show it to you. I thought a smile can make the world a better place to live.

Okay, I'm not gonna say anything anymore -- regarding to assignments -- because the way we handle things might be different.

Anyway, when everybody were busy doing their assignments, I was busy having practices, events, all sort of things. Well, to get extra money, you gotta work harder, right? I don't remember the things I did much but this one I'll remember -- "Malam Berbuka Puasa Bersama Chef Ismail" -- !!

It was amazing! All these while, I was only able to see him on TV, but this time I got the chance to sing duet with him. And when he was doing the cooking demonstration, I was able to stand just next to him (holding the mic for him but who cares) ahahaha. It was a fantastic experience.

Again, too bad I don't own a camera. Didn't get to snap a photo with  him. Hope there will be a next time.

P/s: How I wish that I can graduate with only my life experiences because if I need to show them flying colors in exam paper, oh my. I'm not good in answering written questions. Let me rephrase it; academic written question. Exam is coming and I guess it will be the end of the world for me... T.T

I miss you

 

I miss you like everyday,

I wanna be with you but you're away,

I try not to cry,

Each time I think of thy smile,

Wish the time would fly,

And we are only away for a mile.

But it can't be true,

as life is always be cruel,

don't worry, it will be okay soon,

keep your faith in me, cause I'll always love you son.

Speechless.

I lost my faith,

I lost my hope,

I lost my love,

I lost everything in JULY.

Well, that's what I thought. Until one by one angel came and visited me in very unique ways. Here, I would like to thank everyone for keeping a little faith in me, for helping me in every single way, I appreciated it much. You, you, you and you. Thanks a lot.

I'm sorry for keeps on being a burden.

I'm sorry for being a weak person.

I'm sorry for doing things imperfectly.

I'm sorry for showing you my sad  face everyday.

I'm sorry for borrowing your shoulder when I feel like crying.

I'm sorry for being selfish in making decision.

I'm sorry for everything.

And when I say everything, I MEAN IT.

Just so you know,

I tried to stand up on my own feet,

I tried to be strong,

I tried to do things perfectly,

I tried to put a smile on my face,

I tried not to cry,

I tried to make decision as equal as possible,

I tried..

Thanks to everyone who cares about me.

God, family, lecturers, friends, everyone.

You guys mean a lot to me.

P/S: I love you, you, you, and yeah you.

:)