So, anything new?

Haven't write in a while. I have so many things to write about but you see once you want to blog about something, you have to do it right when you have that feeling to write. Only bloggers understand that. It's like you have an idea to write about something and you need to write about it right at that particular moment, or else you will never bother to write about it anymore. So, yes, that's what I'm facing right about now. Ahahahaha

Anyway, it's exam time and this semester I couldn't bother any more. I really want to score, want to do my very best, but my motivation is gone, I supposed. I mean, I used to have this vision of my life; to study, to have a good job, to travel, to know about the world more, and there's so much more in life that I need to discover. There is MORE to life. And I want to know more. But I don't think I can achieve those visions anymore. I can say that my life now has been arranged by others and maybe by me as well. I don't know. All I know is that I feel like I'm living someone else's life right now. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm lost in my own life. Waking up everyday to questions from the inside of me asking 'who are you?', 'what are you doing to Lala's life?', 'how long will you be controlling her life?' Those questions make me cry sometimes. I'm starting to think that I've gone crazy. Sigh. I need a doctor.

Every now and then I wish that I can actually tell someone what problems am I facing. But I just can't. They will never understand. They can't do anything anyway. The only thing they will do is judging. They are very good in judging. They see themselves as God; thinking they know everything, that they are always right. They didn't see the pains others are experiencing. In the end, it's always between me and God. I'll be crying and crying and crying seeking comfort from Him. I don't know, I just felt something is missing. Maybe I'm not that sincere enough. I really don't know..

Or maybe it's because it's you I'm missing. It's you I've been looking for. Maybe it's you. Just maybe.. :'(

April 13th

April 13th is my birthday. Not a good date people usually told me. And I have to admit that I actually believed it as well because a lot of terrible things will happen either on my birthday or the day before. I have lived with that kind of thinking for years now and never bother to think or even plan anything on my birthday because I know bad things will happen anyway.

However, this year I don't know what triggers me but I actually planned something. I want to have at least once a birthday celebration for myself. A good one. So I planned. And to be frank, I was really looking forward for my coming birthday. I took a risk. Unfortunately, as expected, things didn't go well. All the things I planned seems went way off board. Everything was fucked up. And another confession from me? Yes, I gave up.

But thinking of it again, I was like no. Not this time. Not this birthday. Not now. I'm not going to let my life controls me. I should be in control of my life. I'm gonna celebrate my birthday even if I were to celebrate it all by myself. I'm not going to just sit down and accept this so-called-fate. No, I'm not gonna to do that. I have enough celebrating Christmas by myself, New Year by myself, doing nothing but crying. No, I'm so not gonna do that. I'll not let a single tear fall off my cheek this time. I'm stronger now, aren't I? I'm not that little girl anymore that cried each time other people bully me. This time I'll stand up straight and tell those people to just fuck off. I have been living independently now and I don't see any reason why I should regret for deciding it that way. Condemn me as you like, disappoint me, leave me, whatever you like, do it. I dare you. I DOUBLE DARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS.

P/s: This post is written due to the stress and problems I'm having right now. Please do not be offended. I'm just writing this to let my feelings out in a healthy way. At least I don't go for suicide anymore, right? Ahahaha good day, mates! ^^

Photoshoot II

Sooo....

I had another photo shoot yesterday for my institute's batik. A friend asked me to be the model just to show the students how do the batiks look like. So I did it for the sake of my friend and also for the sake of my beloved college. Rather than paying someone to be the model, it is better to have a free service right? Little did I know, those pictures have become a controversy. Can u believe it? A real controversy. What the hell!

So the pic which has caused controversy is this one:

I was like, what?? What is wrong with my poses that they have to condemn me?? They were saying that my poses are way too much, over, blah blah blah... Are you kidding me?? Please, stop criticizing others. Talking bad about other people doesn't make you better. If you are way much better than me, then shouldn't you be there, instead of me? I helped my college, did you? You did nothing but criticizing people. I don't know how is it possible for you to be a Malaysian because as far as I know, rakyat Malaysia berbudi bahasa!

A note for those dummies:

First of all, you are supposed to look at the design of the batiks, not me, you silly!

Second of all, I am so gonna say out loud that MY POSES ARE NOT TOO MUCH. Try to compare my poses with the other models, aren't they all the same??

Thirdly, I did this for the sake of my institute. Kau ada?? Have you ever lend a hand each time our institute need you?

Fourthly, being a Muslim is not simply about your statuses in Facebook or pictures that you uploaded or clothes that you wore. Islam comes from your heart. When you love your God, you will practice what He teaches. And I believe He did not teach you to condemn others. Wearing a purdah doesn't make you a Muslim. No offense. Just as a reminder.

For the fifth, you should thank God I have deactivated my Facebook account, because If I haven't, you're dead man. Seriously.

O God, please make me strong. And please forgive all my evil thoughts as I'm writing this post, because I have forgive those who had condemned me through their Facebook account or their mouth or in their mind. Amen.

I'm Back!!

Wow! I've been far and away from my blog for a while now. I thought my busy life was over. And that I can relax, update my blog every single second. It turned out to be totally different than what I'd expected. ^^

Okay so for the last few weeks I was busy with some performances (again!) and few events outside college. Too bad (again..), I don't have camera so I couldn't take any of those beautiful moments in pictures. Only records that can play in my 256MB memory. =.="

Anyway, for a concert organized by my seniors themed '1Malaysia, 1Irama, 1Dunia', some photographers took pictures of mine and so here they are!

Before my first dance performance - Chinese dance

Before my second performance - duet with senior Safwan

Song - Sandarkan Pada Kenangan

A picture taken while I was dancing - 3rd performance

Red carpet bebeh!!

Me and Yuan Yuan

Me and Mr Eyie

We are family!! Ahahahaha

The concert was a success I would say (even though I wasn't that confident at first that it will) and I had fun! Real fun!

^^

It was my first time to perform about four times in one night which requires me to change my clothes in every single performance. Usually I would just have to go up to the stage and sing - wearing the same clothes everytime. But this time, I changed for four times according to the songs I have to dance. It was an amazing experience.


By the way, I'm already in the 'holiday mood' now. Ahahahaha Can't wait to go back to where I belong. Where my heart belongs. Everyday I keep planning about what am I going to do once I go back, what am I gonna eat, where will be my next visit, oh Dear!


I'm comin' home, comin' home,
tell the world that I'm comin home!

Trip to Cameron Highlands.

Last week, on the 16th of September 2011, me and another eight friends of mine went to Cameron Highlands just to have fun. It was a great experience and I had great fun with them. ^^

It was raining that time so the temperature dropped really fast. I was sweating in the afternoon but then as it went dark, the rain came and there you are; a stiff coldness on the air. Hoho

Not that cold though. I was wearing a sleeveless dress, knee level, and yet I still can stand firm. Ahahaha except for some of the times when the wind suddenly blow really strong wind with cold air. Fuiyoh!

From left: Dette, Jeremy, Me and Walker

Lydrielyn Koh ^^

Me and my bestie ate a lot of strawberries. Strawberry steamboat, strawberry ice cream, strawberry choc, fresh strawberry and so on until I felt like throwing up. Ahahaha  yet, they tasted amazing!!!

We also met the drummer of Estranged band; Andy. I didn't recognized him as I don't really know about this band but when he passed by, I signaled my friend to look at him and said, "look at that fellow! So handsome!" Then my friend turned and looked at him. She was speechless. Then she turned to me and said, "don't you know him?? He is Andy!! Estranged's drummer!!" Ahahahaha

Really wished I can go to Cameron Highlands with my family. It must be a lot of fun too. :)

Chinese Moon Festival.

For the first time in my life, I celebrated Chinese Moon Festival. Some call it Mooncake Festival, some call it Lantern Festival, some call it Mid-Autumn Festival, but whatever you call it, as long as you understand which festival am I referring to then it should be fine. Ahahaha

So, I am a Chinese but an ABC Chinese (means has already mix with other races. Not pure Chinese. ^^).  My family still celebrate Chinese New Year. It's a must. But I don't remember celebrating any Chinese Moon Festival. I've no idea why. I don't even remember holding a lantern. Well, mooncakes, of course I've eaten before. It's a must to buy it  every year. But lantern, I've always seen it from afar. Sometimes I really feel like holding it but I don't have the chance to. At last, I managed to play with it this year and to be specific; today. I had a lot of fun!!! Thanks  to Lee Kaw Siang who invited me to join them to celebrate this festival. If not because of him, I'm sure I won't know what I'd miss. Thanks Kaw Siang!! ^^

We went around with the lanterns and sing and dance and laugh. It was a great experience. I even ate mooncake today. Eugene Lee gave me and it tasted so good! Thanks Zhe Rui. :)

Another amazing thing that happened to me today is that I got a Cheongsam from my lecturer!! Thanks Madam Jennifer! You don't know what it means to me. I mean, getting something from your beloved and respected lecturer is like WOW and plus I've been wishing to have a Cheongsam all this while so it was like a dream come true right? Extremely happy!!!!!

In conclusion, God has been good to me lately. I guess I know why. ^^

Thanks, Father! ^^

Assignment.

People keep on asking me:

Lala, have you finished your assignment? You look so free.

Don't you have any assignment to do? You look so relaxed.

Dear friends,

a smile painted on my face doesn't mean I am happy,

a small talk with my colleague doesn't mean I am free,

a plate full of rice doesn't mean I have money,

a full blast energy in the afternoon doesn't mean I'm not weary,

because the way we handle things are vary,

to understand me, you need to look into me very clearly.

 (Lydrielyn, 2011)

I just don't know why people need to ask me whether I have assignments or not. I am a student, it's impossible to not have an assignment. In fact, I'm the one who should be asking you, why are you so tensed up with your assignments? Aren't they the same with the rest of tasks that your lecturer need you to do? So why when it comes to assignments, you were so stressed? Of course I am also stressed out but I just didn't show it to you. I thought a smile can make the world a better place to live.

Okay, I'm not gonna say anything anymore -- regarding to assignments -- because the way we handle things might be different.

Anyway, when everybody were busy doing their assignments, I was busy having practices, events, all sort of things. Well, to get extra money, you gotta work harder, right? I don't remember the things I did much but this one I'll remember -- "Malam Berbuka Puasa Bersama Chef Ismail" -- !!

It was amazing! All these while, I was only able to see him on TV, but this time I got the chance to sing duet with him. And when he was doing the cooking demonstration, I was able to stand just next to him (holding the mic for him but who cares) ahahaha. It was a fantastic experience.

Again, too bad I don't own a camera. Didn't get to snap a photo with  him. Hope there will be a next time.

P/s: How I wish that I can graduate with only my life experiences because if I need to show them flying colors in exam paper, oh my. I'm not good in answering written questions. Let me rephrase it; academic written question. Exam is coming and I guess it will be the end of the world for me... T.T

July.

10 Reasons to Hate July:

1. My family came this month to pay me a visit. We had fun in Malacca. I extended my holiday so that I can join them to Genting Highlands, but it turned out that the tickets were all sold out. Since they bought the ticket earlier, they went. I was left alone.

2. We performed for Malam Gema Budaya. Everything went smoothly until the time for us to perform. I don't know what the hell was wrong with the technician but the music started earlier, we got panic and the steps were all over the places.

3. My lecturer asked me to handle a performance for a retirement event. I was so busy with few other performances and just don't have the time to handle it. I know I should've said 'No' to my lecturer but don't you know that the word 'NO' is the hardest thing to say? The performance was fine said them but being me, I know there's just something missing in it. Sorry guys, my bad. :(

4. I was helping out my other lecturer for a booth on our English carnival. I tried my very best to make it okay but it just won't do. I spent about a day to at least make it something unforgettable, something awesome, something PERFECT. But I just couldn't. It turned out  to be something simple and ordinary. Again, sorry everyone. T.T

5. I have a lot to pay this month and in just a blink of an eye, I was broke. Trainee teachers' camp, LCD projector, trip to Teluk Senangin, my toiletries, license, hockey stick, class fund, institute's Batik, etc..... OMG, I wonder how am I going to live after this with only few ringgit left in my wallet. =.="

6. I borrowed my bestie's camera the other day when I went out with my family. After that, kept it in my locker. Recently, we went to Teluk Senangin and I found the camera was missing. My goodness!!!!!! How I hate JULY!!!!! Sorry, Dette... I'll replace it as soon as possible....

7. Trip to Teluk Senangin was a disaster. Well of course we had fun but other than that, stayed in a stupid motel called KAMILA, met that motel's arrogant owner, ate at a restaurant full with flies. Shit. We're totally fucked up.

8. Because of two laptops were missing in the hostel, all the girls were gathered and scolded by the 'prefect'. They were shouting and yelling as if we all did it. As if we couldn't hear them. As if we are 6-year-old kids. As if the person who stole it will stood up and said 'yeah, I did it'. As if we couldn't understand them. Of course not all of the prefects did so but one of them (I don't know his name) acted too much. If  I were the one who stole that laptops, I wouldn't keep it that long. I'll straight away sell it the day I stole it. What's the point of doing spot-check when the laptops had been stolen for like few days ago? Of course I am sorry for the two girls who lost their laptops but the prefects' action was too late. Should have done it earlier.

9. My classmates got into a fight. It's a small matter at first but they didn't solve it properly so it turned out to be a big matter. Well, shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill right? I cried. We are all so close together. Why can this happened?..

10. My bestie's bought a phone online worth quite a price and the stupid guy who 'sell' it didn't post it to her. So people, never buy things from mudah.com.my. Don't trust them. Never. Poor on Dette. I'll try to get my lawyer's advice on this okay? We can't just let him go.

 To that stupid fellow: watch out. You'll be dead soon. Every parts of your body will be cut off. Separated into 10 parts. While cutting it into 10 different parts, I'll make sure you are still in your sense. To feel how much does it hurts each time you lie to others. I don't know how many times you have been doing this but trust me, you'll regret it. Your eye balls will be scooped out and your tongue will be cut slowly. Your penis will be burnt. After that, I'll let you live. How are you  going to live next? Up to you, you moron.

Good girl gone bad?

What should a teacher looks like? Just because she is a teacher, you expect perfectness in her, is it? :)

Let me put it this way: I agree, I am a future teacher. I agree I have to change myself before I can change my students. But please, does wearing shorts make someone a slut? Does having a tattoo make someone a gangster? Does giving a smile to everyone, be it a cleaner or a bus driver make someone a bitch? Does taking alcoholic drinks make someone a bad person?

I wear shorts because we are in Malaysia. The temperature is quite hot especially now when the weather is terribly hot. You may doubt. You may say that you can stand the heat so why not me? That's not how it works. Don't you learn science? Human's body work differently on different people. They aren't the same. That's why there are differences between human. You can eat chilli, but why can't the others? You can run the fastest, why the others run slower? See my point? Exactly.

I have a tattoo, so what? You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. By having this tattoo, it gives me strength. It's a symbol of my religion. FOR ME. If you don't agree with me, then fuck off. I didn't ask for your opinion.

I give a smile to almost everyone I pass by. Why? Isn't it great to start your day with a smile. Maybe you don't feel that way but I do. It makes my day. Be it gardener, cleaner, clerk, lecturer, or even a stranger. I just smile. It's free anyway. I'm  poor. That's the least I can give to people around me.

I take alcoholic drinks. Beer, wine, liquor, tapai, lihing, everything. So what's the big deal? It's just something usual for us, Kadazan in Sabah. Did I take your money to get those drinks? Did I got drunk that I harm you in any way? Did I? I didn't! So why do you have to take care of my business? I drink with my dad and you the one who complain? Please-lah!

You keep telling me this and that. This is wrong, that is bad. You said as a future teacher, I shouldn't do those things. Hey, I harm no one as far as I know by living this lifestyle. In fact, I'm doing pretty good with my life. And you? Have you ever thought of your own life? Are you living a good one?

With that, I rest my case.

Love Triangle

Ahahaha gotcha!

Actually there's nothing really related to what I am about to say with the title I posted. I just wanna make the post looks 'momofurged'.

Ahahahaha

In case you are wondering what does 'momofurged' mean, it's just a word to express a feeling you just can't describe. You can use it in situations like you want to praise someone very highly or maybe in a terrible situation where you just need to use harsh words such as 'fuckin  shit', 'holy cow' or etc. Don't check this word in your dictionary cause you won't find it. Never ever. Why? Cause a good friend of mine created it. Ahahhaha credit to Eugene Wong Chen Wei!! ^^

Okay, let me go to my 'love triangle story'. Hoho

As what I mentioned earlier, it's nothing really about it. Here it is: I have two good friends of mine; Bernadette Hyacinth Vincent and Eugene Wong Chen Wei. We  are very close. I don't know whether they love me but I do love them. :)

They are very good. In fact, amazingly great. Wanna know them? Check on their Facebook. They use their real name in Facebook so it's pretty easy to find them. Bernadette, she's amazing. She's pretty, talented, she has got all the criteria you ever think as a perfect woman. No joke. She doesn't talk much like I do. That's why we make pretty good relationship, I guess. Ahahaha so most of the time it's me who 'nag'. I still remember the birthday card she gave to me. She wrote only a lil' inside but it touched my heart. Thanks, Dette. :)

Me and Dette :)

Next, Eugene Wong Chen Wei. We argue a lot. Always have different opinions and ideas. But at last, we'll still make it. Lecturers always have to ask us to relax when we were having discussion. Ahahaha

Just for your information, the main reason we fight and all is because of me. It's me, not him. Hate to admit that. But I just don't know why I like to find something against him. Maybe that's what make our relationship hot and spicy! ^^

Me and Eugene

The funny thing about us is people always mistake the three of us. Some people thought that Dette and him are in relationship, some people thought that me and Eugene are in relationship, they even thought me and Dette are in relationship! Funny isn't it? ^^

Me -the one and only Lydrielyn- and a drawing of me

Everyday Dette touches my heart by doing simple things. She might never realised it but she does. She's rich and she can have the best meal everyday, but she chose to have what I have just because. I only have vegetables everyday. She's so sweet....

Me and Eugene. Behind are my classmates; Aufa and Amir

Today, Eugene touches my heart. We were having breakfast, and like usual I just had vegetables. He knows that I love to eat chicken's fat -- especially the skin. So he gave it to me. I asked him why -- he also love that part. Then he said it's fine, he doesn't feel like eating it. So I was like "what??? don't you know that the skin is the best part you can ever have??" Then he turned to me and said, "that's why I gave it to you", with a smile on his face. Oh, my! That's like so sweet!!!!!! ^^

If you look closely, it is a drawing which I stand  just next to it in the previous pic. It's a drawing by Dette and Eugene. They said that it really looks like me. =.="

See, I have the best persons to accompany me. How bout you? :)

A teacher?

Okay, seriously, can you see me as a teacher? Frankly speaking, I myself can't see me as a teacher. Why? I just can't. Being a teacher means you have to follow the rules, show to your students the best in you, but me? I wasn't born to follow rules. In fact, I have fun in breaking rules. Irony, huh?

Then I am quite sure you'll have this question hanging on your head: "Why would Lala chose to be in the teaching profession then?"

My answer is simple: I love kids. Knowing that they love you, respect you, trust you, it's enough to make me happy. Their presence warmed me. They make you feel needed. I myself have my own kiddo at home; Hideaki. Being far from him feels like hell. Even though there are times when he became so uncontrollable --well he's just 2 years old so I can't really blame him-- but still I love being just next to him. I thought it's gonna be amazing to be there with him when he first enter primary school since by that time I've already been posted to school. Then I can be around him and teach him as well, make him proud to have a mama like me. :)

The second reason would be easy: government gave me money to study and they'll give me a sure-job after 5 years stuck here. Isn't that good? I wanted to be a pharmacist since I was young. Well, I was almost there achieving my goal of life --government gave me scholarship in Diploma in Pharmacy-- but I'm afraid I won't have much time to spend with my family if I choose that career. Sometimes, you have to surrender some things in order to get the other.

So, a teacher? Hurmm, I might not be the best teacher, but who knows maybe I can be good at it. ^^

SIGH...

As I expected, the first day in college, I got tons of work already need to be done. Guess I have a big sign board sticking on me saying, "Give me something to do". Ahahaha

Anyway, it's fine by me. It's not that I'm not capable of doing it anyway. It's just a matter of time management. Right? ^^

A week here, I met two juniors from my former secondary school. Great, don't you think? Means I'll have friends to accompany me if I'm going back for sem-break. Yeeehhaaaaa!! :)

Back to hell.

Arrived at LCCT last night around 12am. It was one of the terrible moments I've ever experienced. Shit. I never thought overnight at the airport would be a disaster. I thought it would be easy but I was wrong. I swear I'll never ever ever ever ever and ever book a flight at night. Looking at those people who slept on the floor just because their flight is early in the morning, OMG, I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a war where people don't have a place to live anymore, where they have to suffer, it's sad. Especially when the kids were there as well. Their parents should think before they plan the holiday right? I mean, do you really want to see your own kiddo to sleep on the floor and everybody keeps on looking at your kid like he/she is a victim of a war or a beggar? Please. Even me myself felt terrible to sleep wherever place possible to lie down, let alone a child. Well, this will be the last time I'm gonna book late-night-flight.

Being at the airport all alone counting the time to go back to college is hard. Thank God my college provided free transport, if they didn't, I won't have to stay here and see all these stuffs. Someone asked me, 'how do you feel about getting back to your college?' I was like, what? Seriously? Who will ever say 'wow! I'm excited!' or 'AWESOME!' when you will have a never-ending-busy-life there? Going here, going there, doing this, doing that, exhausting. Maybe it's good in some way but sometimes it's just unfair when I have to do all the work and see everybody else doing nothing. Anyway, I can't blame anyone because usually I volunteered to do all the work. Ahahahaha it's not that I want to pretend or showing off what I've got but I don't know why I just can't trust others to do it for me. I know I gotta change, it just takes time. :)

Will update my life in hell, oops, I mean college's life, later on. I guess I'll have more stories since I'm gonna be a senior in two weeks time. Time to make my junior suffer. 

Home.

Okay, define home. :)

For me, home is where your heart belong.

And for my elaboration, I just love being at home. What more can you ask when you have thousands of choices for food, karaoke everyday, wi-fi 24/7, drinking beer when I feel like drinkin', watching movie all I want, wake up anytime I want, turning the air-cond on when I feel hot, bathe in hot shower when I feel cold, host a party when I feel bored on weekend, oh my! This is life! Ahahaha

Thank God I have a great family, I must say. Back in college, I can see how 'sad' some of my friends' life are. Their parents are strict like hell, they are not really close to their brothers and sisters, some even don't use to socialise. Pity them. Not that I'm trying to say my parents are not strict, I never fight with my siblings, I know how to socialise -- that's a big NO. Hell yeah, my parents are strict. But we can sit together and discuss about their needs and my wants, et cetera, so that we can understand each other better. I fought with my sisters too, if you read my post in my blog earlier. And I'm not really good in socialising as well, ask people around me. But at least i TRIED. I didn't be a coward and kept me to myself.

But in a week, I have to face life again. Going back to college means hell. Hey, you gotta agree! Having unhealthy food everyday, facing those poker faces, being someone I am completely not -- in conclusion, it's a real UNHEALTHY LIFE. I gain weight in college. Why? No time to exercise, oily food all over the cafes, no more fresh fruits, shit! And another 5 years here? I'm gonna be a crazy woman, dude!

One thing that I really hate studying in college is that, here, you have to be someone else. It's hard to be yourself. You have to be someone 'perfect'.When you did something, whether it's right or wrong, everybody starts to say something bad about you and that thing will spread like wildfire in just a min. Trust me. I walked with a friend of mine the other day for dinner, and he got a text message from his friend asking whether we are in relationship exactly at that min. Oh, my!

But still college's life is fun in some parts. Right? (",)

Home-Sick!

Uh, damn it!!

I miss home, miss my family, miss my son, miss my hometown, miss my friends, miss every single thing in my life!!!!

It's goin' to be a very tough life here, in Perak, by myself. . .

Need someone to talk, but that someone, which I used to wish that he will always be my side, is no longer with me. . he is too busy with his own world. . *depressed* . . . T.T

I am now with God alone~ my family are so far a way, my friends, and HIM. . . . they are no more with me. . . . . =.=

Another shocking event!!

OMG! I'm really into hot soup now! I don't know what to do. I got another offer from Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia. To take degree in TESL, education course. I want it since the salary is quite a price but I'm getting comfortable with the environment and the subjects in ICAN college, not to mention my lovely friends I'm going to leave if I leave this place. . T.T

Wish God can show me the right pathway for my life. I'm sick of deciding eveything. They say take it or leave it, but it's not that easy! Trust me!!

ICAN college

It's been two weeks I'm in KL. As what I'm expecting, it was plain boring, saddening (if that's counts as a word. . ahahaha), scary, lots of quite negative things. BUT still I will try to get use with these situation. Not that bad at all cause I met lots of new friends too, got new experiences which are funny, some are sad and some are exciting. OKAY-LAH. . . ahahahaha

I miss home, my friends back in Sabah and Labuan, my baby Hideaki, every single person in my life. Wish I can be there with them. Here, some are being very nice to me, some are not. Well, we cannot expect everyone to be nice with us, can we? :D

But, ICAN college is the best college I've ever been. It was cool, sporting, relaxing, slumber, everything was just nice. Not stress at all. Go ICAN!! Ahahahaha :D