Last night, for the second time of this year, I had a nightmare of being in war. It's normal when people dream about ghosts or losing their loved ones or met an accident or died for unknown reason. But it's not normal to dream about being in a war, at least for me, because I have never even experienced once! It was scary. Just for your information, I'm not into watching movies or drama involving war. I do watch but it's not on the top of my movie-to-watch list. If it's on TV and everybody else is watching it or I have nothing else to watch, then I'll watch. That's about it. I read a lot of Nicholas Sparks' books and the characters in his books are usually soldiers but the last time I read Nicholas Sparks' books was early this year. So I don't know why do I have this nightmare when I don't usually dream!
The first dream I had about this war was last month, which is October. It was scary. We were attacked by a large numbers of soldiers. They were cruel. They shot everybody around. I saw people dying right in front of my eyes. I ran, I hid. I got into this place and all of us were women. We looked at each other with a sad look but we didn't cry. In fact, nobody actually cried. I knew none of them. It was dark. In the middle of us was this huge crashed plane. We were looking for anything in and out the plane. I don't even know what we were looking for. Maybe food, maybe other victims, maybe things that can help us to defend ourselves. I just don't know. Then, suddenly I heard a loud sound of shotguns. Right at that moment, I knew we were all going to die. They found us. Then, I heard voices. They were shouting at each other to kill anyone in sight. I started to cry. Suddenly, I saw a very loud sound. I almost couldn't hear anything after that. Then, I saw this one lady right in front of me fell down. She was shot. And she was right in front of me. I could have died. I was the one who was supposed to die. My knee then felt so weak. I fell down and the shock was all over me. I couldn't do anything. After that, it started to be silent. The captain was telling the rest to check if there's anyone who survived. Do you know how they checked us? They hit us with their weaponry as hard as they could. That time, I knew, if I don't pretend that I'd died, they will kill me straight away. I had no choice. I got to act like I'm a dead body. I was so scared. I don't know whether I could do this. I closed my eyes. My heart was pumping so fast, so loud, I thought the soldiers will hear it out. I could hear their footsteps. And it's nearing me. I was shaking. To my relief, they were called up by their captain right at the moment when this one soldier was standing next to me. I can feel my hair was stepped on. They left and I woke up. I woke up almost crying and my body was sweating. It was scary. Even right at this moment, as I write this post, I am actually crying. I still remember how I felt when I was in that dream. I started to think about those people who were actually in war. I bet they will have a never-ending nightmares. God, bless them. :'(
Then, last night. Another dream about war. However, this time, it's a short one. I was in this village. Again, I know none of them. We were celebrating I don't know what but it seemed like people are attacking our place but before they reached our place where we stayed, they left. So we were celebrating because we thought they'll never come back. But we were wrong. They were delayed because they were preparing for even a greater destruction. That particular night, they came back. They were everywhere. There was this one man and his little boy of around three or four years old sitting on a bench. The soldiers threw a grenade at them. I don't know why the father didn't run away or at least try to save himself and his little boy. I couldn't see both of them die so I ran and pick up the little boy. I ran as fast as I could and the father died right in front of our eyes. The little boy was crying calling for his dad. I cried too. I hugged him. He tried so hard to go off me but I can't let him go. I can't let him die too, at least not before me. I took him away from that place. We found a hiding place but he kept crying. I told him to stop or else the soldiers will find us too. But he wouldn't stop. Then I woke up. Another nightmare. :'(
O God, please bless our country. I don't want to experience this in real life. Having it in my dreams are already traumatizing. I don't think I can handle it. Bless us, O my merciful Lord. Amen. :'(
