Nobody..

A week more before I leave here. Sad. Relieved. Heartbroken. Everything in one. Feel glad anyway, that I met my family. But honestly, I've only spent like few days with them after a month here? Why? Busy with other not-that-important thing. T_T

I fought with my sisters back few days before. Feeling so useless. I'm no one to them. I love them more than I love myself, but I guess love by one side alone means nothing. I thought, maybe next year I should just go back home few days before Christmas to avoid anything like this happen again. They don't need me as much as I need them anyway.

There are lots of question I wish I can ask God right now. Why am I so different with my other sisters? I am not as pretty as they are. Not as clever as they are. Not as kind as they are. Not as good as they are. I'm sucks in relationship. I'm no one. I'm nobody. I bring nothing to others' life. I hurt others without realizing how much I hurt them. I'm not good in making friends. I have no sense of humor like my sisters do. I don't understand my parents like they do. I know nobody's perfect, but does that mean I have to be lacked in everything? I shouldn't be left alive in the first place by God if this is what I should live. Anyway, I'm glad He loves me, I know He does.

Does He?.

December!

Oh My Goodnesssssss !!
It's December, the month of Christmas! Can't believe it's already December. Time flies, huh? :D

I'm now having a great holiday with my family and my son, Hideaki. Also busy with my business, christmas cookies.. ehehe I've been doing this for 3 years including 2010. Amazing, huh? It's about passion, babeh! (and of course a lil bit because of the wants of making money!) ahahahaha

I even created a website for my cookies that I'm selling.. Well, we have to do what we can to grab customers, don't we? That's what we call business. U don't have customers, u won't make money. Useless.

Anyway, even though I am already extremely busy baking cookies, I've no idea why am I still involved with few useless events. Performing for sports day? Giving speech for telecommunication event? Sigh. Life is not a life when it gives you none, right? T.T