The Last Farewell

Don't freak out!

I am not giving a suicide note.

Ahahaha

This is my new favourite song. Credit to Mr Lim!!

He sang this song the other day and I immediately fell in love with it.

It's a very nice song.

I almost cried the first time I listened to it.

Unbelievable? Believe it. ^^

Lyrics:

There's a ship lies rigged and ready in the harbour

Tomorrow for old England she sails

Far away from your land of endless sunshine

To my land full of rainy skies and gales

And I shall be aboard that ship tomorrow

Though my heart is full of tears at this farewell

Refrain:

For you are beautiful

And I have loved you dearly

More dearly than the spoken word can tell

(repeat)

I heard there's a wicked war a blazing

And the taste of war I know so very well

Even now I see the foreign flag a raising

Their guns on fire as we sail into hell

I have no fear of death; it brings no sorrow

But how bitter will be this last farewell

Refrain:

For you are beautiful

And I have loved you dearly

More dearly than the spoken word can tell

(repeat)

Though death and darkness gather all about me

And my ship be torn apart upon the seas

I shall smell again the fragrance of these islands

In the heaving waves that brought me once to thee

And should I return safe home again to England

I shall watch the English mist roll through the dell

Refrain:

For you are beautiful

And I have loved you dearly

More dearly than the spoken word can tell

(repeat)

Do I look stupid to you?

This is another major conflict I face each time I go to a new place. I still remember when I entered secondary school. I was talking to a friend of my friend and as the conversation went on, she was surprised to hear that I was in Form 3 Rajin (A-class). Then I was like, why would she be surprised? This is what she said, "no offense but you don't look like the smart girl who goes to library, read books and study". Puh-lissss! Is that how you define 'smart girl'? Is that how you calculate one's cleverness - based on how many times they go to the library? Awesome.

Then, I moved to another secondary school due to some reasons (you don't want to know why. Ahahaha). The first day of school, I heard some STUPID GIRLS talked about me in the toilet.

Stupid girl A: Have you heard about the new girl?

Stupid girl B: The one in 4 F? (*they were referring to my class)

Stupid girl A: Yeah. I heard she got good grades for her PMR.

Stupid girl B: Impossible. She looks stupid. (laughing like hell)

Then I came out of the toilet and I looked at them. They stared at me back. I went back to my class and asked my classmates about the stupid girls. It turned out that they were in one of the not-so-good class. Well, this is our society. They talk about other people as if they are good enough. =.="

After that, I got an offer to Matriculation. I'm not saying that I am so good that I was offered but at least it showed that I am not that bad. While waiting for the day to leave, I spent some time with my families -- partying. Drank beers, tapai, all sort of drinks. One of my not-so-close and rarely-be-seen family member asked me,

"jadi, apa ko mau buat lepas ni? Cari  kerja? Ikutla aku p estate."

(translation - so what do you wanna do after this? Find a job? Follow me to *estate then -- *a place where teens normally go to work when they don't have any other offer or choice)"

So I told him I'm going to matriculation in a week or so. He was surprised.

Sigh....

Then, got another offer from SPA8 -- diploma in Pharmacy. I have a dream of running my own pharmacy. So that offer was a dream came true. I straight went for it. I wasn't surprised to see their reactions when I was active answering in class. Me and my housemates were quite close so one day I asked them, "what  is your first impression when you first see me?" One of them said this with a very high confident,

"you look like arrogant, a gangster, and a stupid-rich Chinese girl." =.="

I asked, "WHYYYYYYYYYYY???????"

She said, "you just look trendy and fashionable. Ahahaha"

That's just ugh....

I was speechless.

And also a thing I really need to clarify here:

I understand Bahasa Malaysia and I do speak in Bahasa.

I don't know why people sometimes pass by me and talk bad stuff about me as if I can't understand them. Hello, I live in Malaysia for all my years I've been living, you expect me to not understand what you're talking about??

Stupid girl A: Amboi, datang gi kelas ke, pegi show? (Translation: Is she going to class or a show?)

Stupid girl B: Tak tau pulak aku yg tmpt nie dah jd sekolah utk stewardess. (Translation: I don't even know that this place is actually for stewardess' training -- sarcastically)

Stupid girl C: Gaye tak hbis-hbis minah nie. (I can't translate for this one. Too harsh. Ahahaha)

I'm sorry that FASHION is my middle name. :)

Okay, that's not my point. The point here is that, it's my right to wear what I want as long as it doesn't go against the rules and regulations here! Plus, the clothes I'm wearing, I won't even consider it as amazing, or gorgeous, or beautiful. They are just simple and ordinary! So what the hell is wrong with you people???

So you tell me, do I look stupid to you??

(Don't worry, I won't bite. ^^)

P/s: The usage of Bahasa Malaysia above is according to the slang of the people around. West and East Malaysian have different slang.

I miss you

 

I miss you like everyday,

I wanna be with you but you're away,

I try not to cry,

Each time I think of thy smile,

Wish the time would fly,

And we are only away for a mile.

But it can't be true,

as life is always be cruel,

don't worry, it will be okay soon,

keep your faith in me, cause I'll always love you son.

10 things I do when I am not with you

1. Wake up

2. Think of you

3. Start missing you

4. Take my shower

5. Continue missing you

6. Go to class

7. Think of you

8. Go back to my room

9. Take my shower

10. Go to bed missing you

(^^,)

ES Task: Mayella Ewell's Thought

Write a blog entry of what do you think Mayella would write based on the novel

To Kill A mockingbird by Harper Lee.

I am Mayella Ewell. I live in a small town in Maycomb County, Alabama. My family is different to compare to the rest of families in the society. I don't go to school. So do my parents, my siblings - easy said, the whole Ewell family. My dad takes alcohol as water. He drinks all day. He has always been this way even before my mother passed away and it gets worse after that. I am the eldest so I have to take care of my family since I can't lean on my father. Sometimes I get so lonely that I cried myself to sleep. My father never cares about the family. When he doesn't have enough to drink, he'll beat us all up especially me.

I've been finding ways to ease the pain I feel inside until one day a black man passed by my house. He is Tom Robinson. I wasn't interested in him at first. But then each time he passes my house, I just don't know why my heart gets excited. I start to say 'hi' to him and I feel a strange fondness towards him. I always enjoy his company so every time he passes by my house I'll ask him to do favors for me just so I can spend time with him.

Gradually my feeling for him grows stronger. I try to give hints about my feeling but he doesn't seem to understand -- or maybe he just doesn't want to understand. I know he is married. I know he has children. Most importantly he is black. Maybe that is the reason why he doesn't want to be with me. His status and his race built a strong wall between us. But how? Should I just give up when he is the only man who stood by me when I need someone? A woman in me just needs a man in him.

I just couldn't stand it anymore. I've been saving money bit by bit. So I used that money to send my sibling to buy ice cream. I know Tom Robinson will pass by my house that day so I call him to come in my house for the first time, without my siblings.I ask him to bust up some chiffarobe and then tell him to step on the chair yonder and get a box down from on top of another chiffarobe. Once I see him on the chair, trying to get the box, I can't help myself but to hug him. I grab him around the leg. He looks surprised, he hops down and  turns the chair around. I don't want to let him go. I jump on him and start hugging him around the waist. I feel so calm standing near to him. I start kissing him but he keeps on rejecting my kiss. He then tries to run away so I quickly run to the door and stop him until my father comes. I get panic.

Tom Robinson runs as fast as he can and my father starts to use harsh words towards me. He beats me so hard that I can't sense anything anymore. I cry and cry but he just doesn't want to stop. The next thing I know is I can't do anything but to lie down on my bed crying. Well maybe he is not the one for me. Maybe we don't belong to each other. Maybe..

P/s: Tom, if you are reading this, I hope you know that I truly love you. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you do, as long as you love me.

Lots of Love,

Mayella Ewell